How to Quit Your Diaper Fetish

The Guide to Overcoming Your Diaper Fetish

If you've made it to this page, then you probably already realize that giving up diapers is in fact possible (which is why that's not Step 1!). For so long I wasn't sure it was possible, and many voices in the AB/DL community online try to say it is not. But they are wrong. Therefore, in order to help you get diapers out of your life for good, I have reflected on my own success and the collective wisdom of others who have overcome obstacles in their lives in order to lay out steps for you to follow. Each of these steps will help you on your journey. You may not be able to accomplish them all immediately, but that's okay. 

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The success I eventually achieved did not come easy. It was only after years of trying and failing that I eventually got to the point I am at today. My hope, though, is that this guide will give you insights that I never had so that you can accomplish your goal much faster than I did. I believe you can do it!

(Note: this website is, and probably always will be, a work in progress. The steps I explain below will remain constant, but I am always on the look out for more and better insights. So, if you have something from your own journey to share, please contact me and let me know.)

Step 1: You Must Truly Desire to Give it Up

If you are on this website, then most likely you want to give up diapers. But there are different senses in which a person can desire to get rid of something. For a long time I agonized over my diaper fetish for many reasons: I was embarrassed by the fact that I was sexually aroused by diapers; I didn't want anyone else to find out; I worried about what it would mean for my future relationships and marriage, among other things.

However, part of me also wanted to keep diapers around. That part of me didn't want to let go because they brought me pleasure and they felt really good. I loved the feeling of a diaper around my groin. I entertained many diaper fantasies that I almost obsessed over. And I had many memories of wearing diapers. Despite all of that, I had to let go of those feelings. They kept me from fully committing to giving them up. It wasn't until I truly desired to stop wanting diapers that I was able to make progress towards giving them up.

In order to do this I had to let go of every desire, big or little, related to AB/DL things that I was holding onto. Eventually, I had to recognize that those desires were disordered and had to be cast aside. I have let them go and I am so much happier for it. 

That's what it is going to take: true desire and full commitment. If you don't fully commit yourself, then the odds of reaching your goal are slim. Therefore, you need to honestly ask yourself: am I hanging onto any desire or hope that I will get to keep diapers around somehow, or do I really want to get rid of them good? 

You can do this! I believe in you! Honestly, it took me a long time to reach the point of truly desiring to get rid of my AB/DL side forever (you can read about my motivations for getting rid of it here if you're interested). Part of the reason for that, though, is that I did not always understand the negative effects that indulging my diaper fetish was having on me, nor did I totally understand the nature of my diaper desires. However, that is one advantage that you will have! Hopefully, this website will provide you with insight that will help with this step. Which leads us to Step 2. 

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Step 2: Demystify Your Diaper Fetish by Understanding What it is and What it is Not

One major insight that has helped me to not regress and fall back into the diaper life I escaped was realizing what my attraction to diapers actually was/is. I assume that all the readers of this site are sexually aroused by diapers. It is this connection with them that generally makes us want to get rid of them. There may be other characteristics associated with diaper wearing that vary from person to person that may not be sexual. For example, people say (and I also felt this way) they are comfortable, relaxing, etc. How those characteristics relate to or are dependent upon the sexual component is unclear. 

What is clear, however, is that our addiction (by "addiction" I simply mean something we have an extremely difficult time giving up) to diapers is almost entirely due to the sexual pleasure we get from them. But what is this attachment? I think it is important we understand this, because it will help to demystify our attachment to diapers. They are not an essential part of who we are. Giving up diapers will not harm your true self. Quite the opposite, actually. 

Our attachment to diapers is a fetish, which is a kind of paraphilia (perhaps you've heard the term "paraphilic infantilism"). A paraphilia is "is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals." These include various fetishes (being sexually aroused by objects or typically nonsexual body parts), Voyeurism, Transvestism (being sexually aroused by dressing like the opposite sex), and others.

I have tried to read as much scholarly material on fetishes as I could, but no one really understands why they develop. There are some interesting theories, but that's all they are: theories. So, we do not need to get into them. We know what a diaper fetish is and that we have it. That's all we need in order to do something about it. Somehow our sexual impulse has also been transferred on to diapers (alongside our attraction to other adults) and perhaps other behaviors or scenarios (like being treated like a baby), but not necessarily.

I found it extremely helpful to look at it this way because it helped me to see that it is not an essential part of who I am. In one sense it is a part of us, but in another much more important sense it is not. So first, in what way is it part of who we are? In the sense that we really do experience these feelings and for many of us diapers have been a part of our lives for a long time. As a kid there were times that I tried to find, steal, or make diapers to wear before I ever realized it was weird and long before I knew I wanted to quit. I have fantasized about scenarios involving diapers and women most of my life. I have a lot of memories involving diapers. So, in that sense they are a part of me. 

But in another much more important sense diapers do not define us. How could they? How could any man-made object be an inextricable part of who we are? Our desire for them wasn't given to us by God or anything like that. It is a psychological quirk that we have, one that can be very pleasurable and difficult to give up, sure, but still just a psychosexual anomaly. 

So, if they are not an essential part of us, why are they so hard to give up? There are two primary reasons: 1) Long-held habits can be difficult to break, and 2) Sexual pleasure feels great and can become addictive.  

The fact that long-held habits are difficult to break is really just an obvious observation about something we all recognize in life. We are creatures of habit. The longer you do something, the more difficult it is to stop it. Personally, diapers had been a part of my life since I was young. Once I reached puberty I discovered that thinking about diaper fantasies as I fell asleep at night was both something that I enjoyed and was something that helped me fall asleep. For both of those reasons I fantasized about an AB/DL scenario most every night for almost 20 years (with a few short breaks scattered through there because I tried to stop). Diapers were on my mind, even if not on my body, almost every day for nearly 20 years. Wow! Put in perspective, I can see why it was such a difficult habit to break. You may have a similar experience.  

The second reason the diaper fetish is difficult to break is because sexual pleasure can be addictive, particularly when removed from the context of actual people in real life. Whereas opportunities for sexual gratification are relatively rare in real life, even for those actively seeking it out, artificial opportunities for it are extremely easy to access. We can find them in magazines, online, or even just in our own minds. Because of this, psychologists have begun to diagnose actual sexual addiction, which is in usually related to pornography. 

I used to justify my AB/DL side, including the things I looked at online, by telling myself (which I honestly believed for a long time) that it was better than pornography. And in a sense, some of it might be (insofar as some AB/DL content does not explicitly depict sex acts and usually involves less violent behavior). But it still has a very similar affect on our brains and sexual appetites. Just think about how hard it is to give up. I tried so many times to stop thinking about and wearing diapers. But I failed every time for years. I literally felt trapped by it. It felt like a force of its own pulling me back in. I was addicted.

In fact, most people I hear from online who try to find a middle ground with diapers do so precisely because they have tried to give it up and couldn't. I know that was true for me. I didn't say to myself, "This is a very healthy and normal activity. I'd like to keep it in my life because it's good for me." No! I often hated it. I tried to give it up. I wanted to. But I couldn't, so I tried to find a moderate role for it in my life, but it always led to excessive indulgence. If we can't give it up, doesn't that make us a slave to it? Is it really better to give in to a desire that we know we should resist but can't?

In summary, you need to understand what the diaper fetish is and demystify it. Our affinity/addiction to diapers is the result of a psychological quirk that caused our sexual desires to be projected onto an inanimate object. Those desires are so difficult to resist because we have been indulging them for so long and because sexual desires are particularly strong and can become addictive. By recognizing the desire for what it is we can begin to fight it. 

Step 3: Understand That Giving Up Diapers is Going to Require Complete Abstinence

Part of what I am going to describe here goes along with Step 1. For a long time I wanted to get diapers out of my life, but I still tried to hang on to them. What I usually attempted was to give up wearing diapers along with viewing AB/DL content online. I promised myself that I would only think about them (i.e., diaper fantasies) while falling asleep at night. That was my compromise. That way they would only inhabit a very small part of my life and no one would ever be able to know about them.

But as you can probably guess, I was never able to stick to that compromise. Sometimes I would maintain it for a few months, other times only weeks, but eventually I would always go back to looking at AB/DL content online. That would weaken my will further and I would come to a place where I would flat-out justify it to myself, and when I had the opportunity I would wear diapers again. 

I finally realized that in order to get diapers out of my life I had to remove them completely, which means not trying to hang on to any part of them. Specifically, that meant I could not think/fantasize about them. I had to get them out of my mind, which was in many ways the most challenging part. There is no internet search history to erase and no embarrassing trips to the store to buy diapers or other supplies. But it had to be done, otherwise I would never have escaped my diaper fetish. 

It makes sense if you reflect on it. Imagine an alcoholic who really wants to be sober and stay away from alcohol forever, but he focuses his imagination every single night on drinking alcohol - on the taste, on the feeling, on the buzz one gets. Do you think that would be a smart way for them to stop their alcoholic behavior? Of course not. 

So, what's it going to take? Complete abstinence from all things AB/DL. If you've already accomplished Step 1, then this will make sense and will be something you will be able to put your whole effort behind. The fact is that temptation needs to be completely eliminated until we are strong enough to resist it.* In other words, stop fantasizing about diapers. Stop thinking about them. If you begin to think to yourself (like I used to), "Gosh, I'd wish I was wearing a diaper right now so I wouldn't have to get up to go to the bathroom," stop that thought before it grabs hold. Recognize it for what it is and tell yourself, "Nope. Not going to go there." Then think about something else. Find a way to avoid going to AB/DL sites on the internet. If necessary, get a program that blocks websites (even ones like DeviantArt and Pinterest if those are problems for you like they were for me). Also, be cognizant of the little things in your life. When you go to the grocery store, avoid the incontinence aisle. Small things like that. 

(*I want to clarify the clause from the previous paragraph, "until we are strong enough to resist it." I don't mean that we can go back to wearing diapers or engaging in any AB/DL activity. I mean that we need to take even the smallest temptation away, like walking down the incontinence aisle of a grocery store or going on Pinterest (or whatever your temptation might be). I was even wary of reading the blog about the guy who was trying to give up diapers because I didn't know how it would affect me. Now, though, I can read that blog without any problems. Those are not bad things, but early on while we are still overcoming the addiction, we need to avoid them. Just like an alcoholic should not be around others who are drinking immediately after he or she tries to go sober. After a few months, or maybe even longer, they may be able to do that, but not right away. I can now walk down the incontinence aisle without it causing me any difficulty.) 

This is a good time to bust one of the more harmful myths surrounding a diaper fetish. That myth says 1) We can't give up diapers because they are an integral part of us - we've already discussed that - and 2) If we don't indulge our diaper desires we will get "pent up" and eventually have to release all of our "repressed" sexual energy. In other words, they say that it is inevitable that we will give in to our desires. Apparently we have no choice, like animals. 

The webpage "Understanding Infantilism" perpetuates this very common myth. In the section, "The ABDL Binge and Purge Cycle," the site states, "Most ABDLs can't stop being ABDLs. If they don't act on their desires, the desires will slowly get stronger. They will build up like the pressure of water filling a dam."

But don't you see that the dam will only overflow if you keep adding water! If you stop the flow, the pressure will stop building. That is the mistake I was making for so long. I wanted to stop wearing diapers, but I kept fantasizing about them and looking at AB/DL content online. So guess what I kept wanting to do? Wear diapers. Exactly.

Think again of the analogy with the alcoholic. He or she wants to stop drinking alcohol. But what if they took a daily stroll through a liquor store, fantasized/thought about the taste and feeling of alcohol, or put a single drop of it on their tongue randomly throughout the week? Do you think the "pressure on the dam" would continue to build? Of course it would! If they want to give up drinking they need to stop doing those things. The temptation needs to be taken away.

Later in the same ABDL Binge and Purge Cycle article, the writer states something unimaginably harmful, "Desires strong enough to overpower the will and drive binge and purge cycles generally won't go away. Accept this." Desires strong enough to overpower the will?!? What separates us from animals is precisely the fact that we have free will. Do we allow desires to sometimes overpower our will or our better judgment? Of course. I've been there. But to believe and accept that we cannot overcome those desires is to make us slaves to them. They become our masters. What that website is telling you is that your desire for diapers is so strong that you cannot resist it. Well, it's wrong. I am proof of that. And I hope that you refuse to believe that you have no control over your urges and desires, because you can control them. 

How do I know this? Because people overcome addictions all of the time. Is it difficult? Yes, it usually is. We can all attest to how difficult it can be. But it can be done and is being done every day. And we can help one another do it. 

Let me briefly explain about my situation now. It is kind of hard to explain, but basically, I am aware that I would still be sexually aroused by diapers if I were to fantasize about them, wear them, or look at AB/DL content online. I am aware that the sexual quirk still exists in my psyche (although it is very possible that it is diminishing). Diapers were a part of my life for so long that I don't know if that quirk will every fully go away. Only time will tell. But resisting my diaper desires is not difficult anymore. It is not a daily struggle. I can push away thoughts before they even grab the tiniest hold on me. I can walk down an incontinence aisle at the store, recognize that the adult diapers would have been a major temptation to me before (or just ignore them), and keep going about my day. I don't go onto AB/DL websites anymore for obvious reasons, but I did have one experience with one after I had given up diapers for over a year. I received an email from an AB/DL website saying they noticed I had not logged in for over a year. I thought about what to do with the email. I decided to login into the website and I immediately deactivated my account. I did it very quickly and closed the page as soon as I was done. Honestly, I was nervous because I didn't know exactly how much of a temptation it would be for me, but I did it with no problem. I marked the last email from that site as spam and now I will never hear from them again. 

So, am I "cured" of my diaper fetish? No, in the sense that the quirk almost definitely still exists in me and is something I need to be cognizant of. But also, yes, in the sense that it no longer has any place in my life. It doesn't control me. And I am so much happier and more at peace because of that.

An essential thing for you to do if you want to reach that same point is to completely abstain from diapers and all things AB/DL. Don't try to keep any part of the fetish around in your life, even in your mind. Which takes us to Step 4. 

Step 4: Take Control of Your Thoughts

Perhaps the most difficult part of giving up the AB/DL side of ourselves is the mental part. We can fantasize about anything and no one knows. We can think about wearing diapers at any time and no one knows. Sometimes I would think about a diaper fantasy while driving in the car. Sometimes I would think about how I wished I could wear a diaper at work and not get up and go to the bathroom. Thoughts about diapers can arise at any time. 

So, what you need to do is take control of your thoughts. If you have already accomplished Step 1, this is going to be easier simply because you will have the motivation to get rid of the bad thoughts, and motivation is huge. 

How do you take control of your thoughts? You might think, "I don't always have control about what I think about. Sometimes things just pop into my head on accident." You would be wrong about the first part, but right about the second. It's true, sometimes ideas pop into our minds uninvited, seemingly out of nowhere. But we can control whether we keep thinking about them or not. 

One of the great (and cool) things about being human is that we, as conscious, free, rational creatures not only think, but we can think about the fact we are thinking. We can know something, but also know that we know something. We can reflect on our experience and be aware of our thoughts. For this reason, what we think about is ultimately in our control. When an inappropriate thought about diapers or whatever begins to enter my thoughts I tell myself, "Nope, not thinking about that!" and I turn my attention to something else immediately. That all happens in an instant.  I do it because if I were to let a thought or image take hold it could take me down rabbit holes I no longer want to go. 

The good news? It gets easier. I really don't want to have those thoughts anymore, so when a memory or bad thought that I shouldn't think about tries to pop up, I toss it away immediately. At first, though, some thoughts were habitual. I would be in a situation or see or feel something familiar (like having to go pee) and I would start to think, "Gee, I wish..." and I needed to cut it off right there. In the past, I would have finished that thought, "...I was wearing a diaper," but I stopped that.  

And let's be honest, this is going to happen. Habits are hard to break. Even more so, sexual memories really have a way of coming back to us, particularly images we've seen online. You have to be vigilant about not focusing on those. 

In summary, the key is to be mindful of your thoughts. Take control of them. Don't let the bad ones take hold. Recognize them when they arise and toss them aside. Think about something else. 

Step 5: Identify Your Triggers and Find Ways to Avoid Them

As I stated before, the most difficult part of breaking the cycle for me was the mental part. Fantasizing about diapers was easy and it was imperceptible to others. There was no internet history to delete or items to hide. I also realized that fantasizing about diapers was my trigger or gateway into other AB/DL activities. I tried to limit myself to the mental fantasies, but I never could. At different times I was able to go a few months of complete abstinence from diapers, mental and otherwise, but eventually my will would weaken and I would justify entertaining diaper fantasies again as I went to sleep, which would lead to internet activity and diaper wearing all over again. The fantasies were always the camel's nose under the tent. Once I let them in, the rest followed.

What you need to do, therefore, is figure it out where your cycle starts and what triggers you need to avoid. Put all your energy into that and you will be able to keep the camel's nose from getting under the tent.

I wish I could say I understood all of this perfectly at the time and that I developed my strategy for combating this as a result. However, that's not quite how it went. Basically, I was desperate. Along with bedtime I began fantasizing about things more and more during my waking hours, and I knew I had to stop. So, while I was on a long car trip by myself I altered the diaper fantasy I was engaged in and removed all AB/DL and sexual elements from it. I began to craft a story in my mind that was engaging but not arousing. It was silly and kinda weird, but it worked. It enabled me to stop thinking about diaper fantasies, and therefore my trigger was avoided/eliminated. Which brings us to Step 6.

Step 6 - Fill the "Void" in Your Life with Something Else

I put the word "void" in quotations marks because you are removing something from your life. There will be habits and routine to break. So, in that sense there will be a void. In this instance, though, the void is good. But an empty space is still an empty space, so we should fill it with something good rather than let it be filled with something bad. 

Therefore, you need to bring something into your life to fill that "void." For me, it was the story I was writing in my mind. I began to think about this story/fantasy at night when I would fall asleep. It did not arouse me at all, which was the goal, but thankfully it still helped me fall asleep quickly. The story took up the time and mental energy that I usually spent thinking about diapers. And for some reason it was very therapeutic for me.

I kept the story going and after a few months I realized that I had avoided even thinking about diapers for that entire period of time. So I continued it and it worked. I was also steadfastly determined to avoid AB/DL content online, which I was able to do by vigilantly avoiding websites I knew to be tempting and by limiting my computer time.

The point of explaining all of this to you is this: you also need to fill your time with something else that will replace what you were doing. I don't know if my strategy will work for everyone, but I am sure there are plenty of other things one could do. It depends on your unique situation. 

The principle behind my success can be applied to your own situation, even if my particular strategy doesn't work for you. Upon reflecting on the success I've had with my strategy, I think of it as similar to how some people chew gum to stop smoking. They need to do something with their mouth/body to replace what they are trying to overcome. Is my story/fantasy I think about kind of silly? Absolutely. But it is not AB/DL related and does not make me aroused at all. It gives my mind something to do instead of thinking about impure things, which makes it easier to avoid indulging in them in real life. Simply wanting to stop a bad habit isn't always enough. Sometimes we need practical strategies and countermeasures to overcome the addiction.

In summary, you need to provide yourself a strategy that will enable you to abstain completely from everything AB/DL. Replace the AB/DL thoughts and activities with something else. Take up a hobby. Learn a skill. Join an organization. Do all of the above if you want! Whatever it is, fill the time that you would normally be thinking about or wearing diapers with something else. This will help you maintain complete abstinence. The good news? It actually gets easier over time. I wish I could identify for you exactly how long it takes, but I am not quite sure. A friend who took a porn addiction course told me he learned that one's brain actually undergoes physical changes when it is addicted and that the brain heals itself after six months of abstinence. I could not find any scientific consensus on the six month claim, but I can tell from my personal experience that resisting temptation definitely does get easier. Like I said above, I am aware that a fetish still exists somewhere in the back of my sexual psyche, but avoiding it takes little to no effort now. 

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If you want to brainstorm together on this topic, please contact me. I'd be happy to chat over email and talk about strategies for your specific situation. 

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(Optional) Step 7: Go to Counseling if You Need or Want it

It is so important to remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to see a psychologist or counselor to talk through issues with. It is very common and there is no shame in going. Everyone has their demons to face and we all have wounds from our past. Some of those wounds are deeper than others. No one seems to know exactly how an individual's past experiences influence their desire to wear diapers or be treated like a baby, but it is possible that part of the reason for our AB/DL desires is pain or trauma we may have gone through, including less-than-optimal relationships with our parents (but again, I don't know this for sure). So, even if it is only to talk to someone about our diaper fetish or to help heal wounds from our past that perhaps could affect our behavior (regarding diapers and otherwise), it is a good idea to think about. You don't even necessarily have to talk about the fetish with them. You could, if you wanted to, talk about other issues that you want help dealing with or reconciling with yourself about. 

Also, I know how intimidating discussing one's AB/DL side can be in real life, but it is always helpful to have someone to talk things through with and to keep us accountable. A counselor or psychologist is someone you can speak to in confidence about whatever you need to, and know one else will know. 

Lastly, if you have ever thought about harming yourself or have harmed yourself in the past, please seek help. You are loved and your life is worth living. I want to emphasize that more than anything. You can find hope and meaning in your life. Never give up!

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*This is the last step, but I have included other insights below*